We talked about solidarity and our call to be with one another. The call to have the courage to live life with one another in Christ. This isn't about charity. Solidarity is a lifestyle. A particularly Christian lifestyle. One in which we choose to engage with each other in such a way that we challenge systems. Before we even got into all of that, the interns had an assignment from last week in which they used an art form to identify the influence a system has had on their identity.
I'm not sure any of you reading this are ready for this.... but here's a piece from Adonna. "It's Whatever: A Monologue"
It's whatever. I never really wanted to speak because I got used to these situations as normal. I got used to it being out of my control and having to swallow the pain down so when it happens now, I just shrug and say "it's whatever". But on the inside my heart says it's not whatever. I'm tired of diminishing whatever it is to maker others feel that it's all good when I really think "stop judging me! Look at me; know me."
Pastor wouldn't let me play again. I sacrificed my time, and went to rehearsal, played for rehearsal and got up for 8 'o clock service. but I guess he doesn't trust his chain of command because quickly it crumbled and I was outside of service, walking down my anger, then sitting in the back like an un-welcomed stranger saying it's whatever, telling myself to get over and breathe. Pastor was one of the first...but he wasn't the last to do it to me and I've said whatever consistently so now it comes out easily, so easy that I don't even think about it and it happens normally.
But it's whatever
I missed out again. For some reason I'm the wrong type of female because I don't really wear skirts, I want to wear jeans. And when I was younger my favorite pair was boy's pair that was like two sizes bigger than me and if we're talking about shoes, don't pass me heels, give me sneaks because I'm too calm, cool and collected to be prissy...but enter here the cute boy and I'm not girly enough. I'm chill enough to always get friended, be the homegirl but not the girl that got taken home and I mean I guess that was fine. When I was younger, I swallowed my pride and was the good friend because I was the type of girl that was the good friend, not the girlfriend when I wanted to be the girlfriend but it's whatever. I don't want to be a trophy piece anyway.
Whatever
Mommy asked me why I have to look like that. Why do I have to wear my hat like that and why are my school sweats and shorts like that. Nevermind the fact that my hair isn't done or that the string on my sweats popped so with my phone and keys in my pocket, they tend to sag, and I don't want anyone to see my crack or even my underwear so ummmmm shorts seemed reasonable fair. She gets mad because she thinks I'm looking/acting like a boy but yet I wear hoop earrings and can do that household crap. Yes I cook and clean. She gets mad and it makes me mad because I don't understand what the issue's about. If she didn't judge me on little ignorant ish, she wouldn't be foaming oat the mouth now...
What the hell ever
I always say it's whatever. Sad, hurt, mad maybe even after getting really excited, but most of the time unless I really really don't care, it matters to me. I say it's whatever so other people can't see what's bothering me but why shouldn't they know? They should know! It's not okay if your a misogynistic jerk. It's dumb if you date someone solely on their looks. What the hell do you think happens when you detach a barbie's head from it's body. You squeeze it and the air leaves. (AIRHEAD) or you put it on your finger and start finger puppeting, then you wonder why it doesn't work. (IDIOTS!) *smh* It's not ok that you decide how my clothes will affect the way you treat me. Not ok that the "this is for boys" "this is for girls" really influences your thinking. (THINKING IGNORANTLY MIGHT I ADD)
We should never be proud to spread hatred and ignorance no more than I should be cool shrugging my shoulders, saying "it's whatever" and sitting in silence. There are those that actually can't speak and we're supposed to be the voices for them...so it won't happen again, ever to me, to them, to you, I won't say it's whatever. Imma tell 'em why I'm mad in hopes that my reason for anger is enlightening. And if its is, you'll have to imagine me jumping up and down, excited (ON THE INSIDE).
"It's whatever"
(that's that piece)
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Here's piece from Maxx called "Skins"
Unintelligent billboard post-its and shallow consumerist sketches of what a man's figure outta look like taught me what a body should be when I was a little boy.
Between convincing weight loss commercials and edgy useful-tip magazines I learned what it meant to be sexy and between classmates comments and mirrored surfaces I learned what it meant to feel unattractive and unwanted, so ive realized that these days it's not hard to imagine a system that teaches kids how to hate themselves.
It's not hard to imagine why food won't settle in sad stomachs or why cuts find their cunning way across the wrists of our youth, it's not hard to imagine the unsettling truth that flashes it's smiling face on the cover of every magazine and movie title, that shows off it's hourglass, muscle-toned figure on every street corner and every tv show.
It's not hard to imagine why a boy can't even look at himself in a mirror at night, why a girl doesn't even have enough self-esteem to love herself, why we all look at the plate and slowly push it away in silent solitude, it's not hard to imagine how easy it is to feel completely and totally alone because when you start a war within yourself it's with you wherever you go.
Do you know how it feels to stop eating? To decide to lose everything they taught you to hate? It feels awesome.
Every second I can remember is filled to the brim with sick confidence and pride, and I'm tired of societies diseases putting smiles on our faces as our shrink-wrap skin wraps around our weak, worn out bones for that modeling job next weekend, or to get into that new dress, or to fit into the skin that everyone else expects you to wear but I'm tired of fitting into everyone elses ideal skins. It took me a while to make the decision, and I'm still figuring it out along the way, but I've decided to wear myself, for a change.
(that's that piece)
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Last, but not least.... I have to do it to you. Raisa is teaching the kids music and she blessed us with a beautiful video of the summer camp kids singing to their plants to help them grow. You can find the video on our youtube channel: www.youtube.com/justusthecrj
one,
kg
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